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Introduction
Law has jurisdiction over Science. Galileo and Scopes trials are two
most famous cases where Law decided what is science and what is not.
Today, Science, or what goes as Science, is under the jurisdiction of
Doctors of Philosophy. As unregulated professionals Doctors corrupted
Science and turned it into a collection of career enhancing absurd
speculations. To reinstate Science Doctors must be regulated.
This case is the first in a series of landmark cases and highlights
the fact that Modern physics is founded on the original sin of its
founding father, Isaac Newton. Newton stole Kepler’s discovery and made
it the foundation of Newtonian physics.
In this case J. Kepler, a German astronomer, is suing I. Newton, the
patriarch of the House of Newton, on the grounds that Newton stole a law
discovered by Kepler and marketed it as Newton’s law.
Analysis
This case is a tough one for Kepler’s attorney. Even though the
historical facts firmly support Kepler’s claim of priority, Newton is
infinitely more famous than Kepler. As the internationally recognized
symbol of genius Newton possesses an immutable authority. Newton
projects his authority with authority and confidence and appears immune
to any kind of accusation however true.
Newton is also favored by the media. Newton is associated with
beautiful and well known symbols from apple to iconic images portraying
him as a scientific hero. The media loves to create and display
Newtonian graphics. It seems that Newton is supported by an invisible
giant marketing department.
Kepler appears to have no marketing support. It is even hard to find
a flattering portrait of Kepler. Under these circumstances the jury may
be awed by Newton’s mythical image and give him the benefit of the doubt
and uphold the status quo.
Kepler’s attorney is disciplined and he methodically presents
historical facts to prove Newton’s theft.
Newton always aspired to be a lawyer and spent a good part of his
career as a prosecutor in the London Mint. He chose to represent himself
in this trial.
Below is the transcript of the cross-examination of Newton conducted
by Kepler’s attorney as recorded by the court clerk in the famous
landmark trial in Manhattan in the Southern District of New York.
The Transcript of Newton’s cross-examination
Kepler’s Attorney: Mr. Newton do you have any evidence proving that
you discovered the law of universal gravitation while sitting under an
apple tree and observing that the force which makes an apple fall on
earth is also the same force which holds the moon in orbit?
Newton: Yes. It is all written in my book, which is universally known
as Newton’s Principia. This happens to be the greatest scientific book
ever written by a human being.
KA: Thank you for being so humble Mr. Newton. We all know that you
are a demi-god not a mere human. You told us yourself in the
hagiographic doggerel you placed in the opening pages of the book
popularly known as Newton’s Principia. Do you have, Sir, a material
evidence to offer to the court that you discovered what today the
physicists call Newton’s Universal Law of Gravity in your orchard? This
court does not accept hearsay as evidence.
N: [Angry] No one dares lecturing Sir Isaac Newton on what is
evidence and what is not! I discovered this law of nature while I was
reading in my orchard on a beautiful day.
KA: How lucky Sir. Lincolnshire is notorious for its inclement
weather favoring a dreary gray over beautiful sun, does it not, Sir?
N: Indeed so.
KA: What book were you reading Mr. Newton on this exceptionally
beautiful day?
N: I was reading a book called Astronomia Carolina by Mr. Thomas
Streete. [Condescending] Do you happen to be familiar with this book?
KA: Indeed, Sir. Is this not the book in which you read for the first
time what is known today as Kepler’s Third Law?
N: [Surprised. But doesn’t let it show.] I never heard of a Kepler’s
third law.
KA: Sir, you have been spending too much of your time in London Mint
sending counterfeiters of the British currency to the gallows and not
enough time with your scientific work. It may have slipped your memory
that Streete’s Astronomia Carolina was the book in which you saw for the
first time Kepler’s third law. Could you please tell us what that law
says.
N: That was no law when I read it. Kepler got lucky. One day when he
was visiting Tycho Brahe he saw some observations of Mars made by Brahe
spread on a table and noted that Mars moved according to a simple
proportionality.
KA: Your Honor, for the record. Mr. Kepler, whom I have the honor to
represent, is a great astronomer and spent about 30 years poring over
Brahe’s observations to discover the correct law of how Mars moved.
Judge: More likely, no more than ten years, correct the records.
KA: I stand corrected, Your Honor. Nevertheless, Mr. Kepler did not
just stumble on his famous law. He dedicated 10 years of his life making
tedious orbital calculations in the absence of computers that we take
for granted today. On the other hand it took Mr. Newton 10 seconds to
steal Kepler’s life’s work ...
N: I object!
KA: ... what did Kepler’s law say Mr. Newton?
N: Kepler’s law my wig! At best, I would say that Kepler discovered
Newton’s law but he did not realize the importance of what he
discovered. I made it into a law. Read Newton’s Principia Proposition 8
of Book III to see how I used Newton’s law to calculate astronomical
motions of planets.
KA: I am familiar with this argument Mr. Newton. In Newton’s
Principia you used it to argue that Galileo discovered Newton’s law of
free fall and Huygens discovered Newton’s third law, and of course,
Leibniz stumbled upon Newton’s Calculus and then he dared claim credit
for it. You even went as far back as Thales and claimed that Thales was
the first Newtonian and through him you made the first ever prediction
of a solar eclipse. Is it not true Sir that Isaac Newton made all past
and future discoveries from the beginning to end of times?
N: Correct. Read Newton’s Principia especially proposition 8 of Book
III.
KA: I have read that Proposition Sir. In that proposition you used
Kepler’s third law to compute Jupiter’s motion. Correct?
N: Not correct. Isaac Newton does not use other people’s discoveries.
Other people have not made any discoveries. How can Isaac Newton use
other people’s discoveries if Isaac Newton made all discoveries. In
Newton’s Principia I used Newton’s Law of Universal Gravitation to
compute Jupiter’s motion and then I extrapolated that conclusion
scientifically to the entire Universe.
KA: Mr. Newton, I went through Isaac Newton’s Principia word by word
and never encountered the phrase “Newton’s Law of Universal
Gravitation.” This phrase does not exist in Newton’s Principia. In fact,
it was invented in the nineteenth century by your dedicated British
disciples. How could you have used it in your book?
N: I used the essence of the law which I discovered. I did not use
any law discovered by what’s his name...
KA: Mr. Kepler.
N: Yes. Kepler. That minor German astronomer more famous as a court
astrologer than a serious astronomer.
KA: We’ll let the jury decide which law you used. What was that
simple proportionality discovered by Kepler that you stumbled upon in
Streete’s book, Sir?
N: I will explain this in a way a dimwit such as yourself could
understand: as the distance from the center increases the speed of the
planet in its orbit decreases as the power of 1.5.
KA: Thank you Sir Isaac for this brief and to the point explanation,
the court is grateful to you. When you read this law you were not sure
if it worked. Correct?
N: Not correct! Of course, I knew it worked. I discovered it.
KA: Sir, please let me remind you that you are under oath. According
to the laws of the United States you have to tell the court the truth
and nothing but the truth. Otherwise you would perjure yourself. Your
Honor, we like to present the court Exhibit A. This is the book called
Astronomia Carolina written by Mr. Thomas Streete. This copy actually
belonged to Mr. Newton. You see that Mr. Newton made some calculations
on the margin to verify Streete’s calculations.
Judge: This only proves that as a good scientist Sir Isaac was
verifying Streete’s computations.
KA: This is correct, Your Honor. We are showing that Mr. Newton did
not know about this law when he read Streete’s book. Now, let me present
Exhibit B. Here’s the note written by Mr. Newton to the Astronomer Royal
asking him if it was indeed true that this mysterious 1.5 law was true.
Did you, Mr. Newton, or did you not, send this note?
N: I don’t remember.
KA: The handwriting is Mr. Newton’s and this is verified by world
class Newton scholars. Is this your handwriting Sir?
N: I’ll take the Fifth on this.
KA: I see you have already made yourself familiar with the popular
Court Dramas on American TV. Your Honor, according to the historical
record, the Defendant read the law of 1.5 in Streete’s book, made some
calculations on the margin, and sent a note to the astronomer royal
asking if this law worked. What was the response of the Astronomer
Royal?
N: I don’t remember.
KA: Your Honor, here’s Exhibit C. This is the reply the Astronomer
Royal sent to Mr. Newton. It clearly states Astronomer Royal’s
conviction that Kepler’s discovery is indeed valid and explains well the
motions of Jupiter’s satellites. Upon this verification, Mr. Newton
stole Kepler’s discovery of 1.5 law. To hide his theft, Mr. Newton
divided Kepler’s law into two separate proportionalities and presented
them in his book as Newton’s laws. This is the greatest plagiarism in
the history of science. Newton’s crime against science is explained in
detail in our Exhibit D.
N: Spare me the details of your Exhibit D. This is a lie. I was
sitting under an apple tree on my backyard on a beautiful day and I made
the scientific observation that ripe apples fall and then I looked at
the moon and I said, “Gosh, the Newtonian force that makes the apple
fall in my orchard must also hold the moon in its orbit.” I went inside,
sharpened by quill pen and made some calculations and found that it all
worked out “more or less.” This is my famous Moon Test.
KA: Mr. Newton, in this Court you have to offer material proof that
you made this discovery in your orchard. The only proof you offer is
your own words. Even Jesus refrained from being his own witness. You are
the only source of this myth about your alleged discovery of a universal
law in your orchard.
N: Sir Isaac Newton’s words are not to be doubted by any one let
alone a mere attorney!
KA: It is indeed true that you made a discovery in your orchard on a
beautiful day. What you discovered was Kepler’s law in Streete’s book.
You did not discover a new law of nature. Your discovery consists of
stumbling upon Kepler’s law in Streete’s book. What fell in your lap
that day was not an apple but Kepler’s law. The fact is that you did not
know about Kepler’s law when you read it, and once you read it, you
stole it. Your theft of Kepler’s law is not a myth but a historical
truth revealed by the paper trail you left behind.
N: My story is not a myth. It is the truth.
KA: You have no valid proof for it.
N: I object.
KA: Your famous so-called Moon Test is nothing more than a simple
application of Kepler’s law of 1.5. Is it not?
N: [Growling] I used Newton’s universal law of gravity to make those
calculations.
KA: No. You used Kepler’s law of 1.5. You did not know about this law
before you read about it in Streete’s book. When you read it you liked
it and you stole it.
Judge: You already said that.
KA: Your Honor, it bears repeating that Newton’s theft of Kepler’s
law is the greatest intellectual highway robbery in the history of
humanity.
N: Circumstantial!
Judge: Proceed.
KA: Yes Sir! Newton must pay up. He stole Kepler’s intellectual
property. Newton stole Kepler’s 1.5 law and presented it to the world as
Newton’s law.
N: This is a lie. This court is not just and has no jurisdiction over
this case. I want this case to be tried in Royal Society of London. Only
that great society can give me a fair and just trial. I can prove under
the roof of that distinguished society that I did not plagiarize Kepler.
He was a minor Continental astronomer while I am the great Isaac Newton,
Royal Subject, and the great discoverer of Universal Truths which I
donate to humanity.
KA: Sir, you are the Chair of the Royal Society of London. It would
only take you to form a committee to investigate this matter. This
committee will gladly find you innocent of all plagiarism. This is what
you did in your dispute of plagiarism brought against you by Leibniz...
N: I object!
KA: ... In fact, you are distinguished as the only scientist in the
history of humankind against whom so many plagiarism suits have been
filed.
N: I object!
KA: There is no other scientist in the entire history who was
involved in so many accusations of plagiarism. Had you been practicing
science today you would be disgraced and fired.
N: Unjustified supposition! Newton will not be redundant, never,
ever.
KA: You are also distinguished by the fact that all of these cases
were dismissed and you were found to be innocent. In all of them, the
investigators were handpicked by you from your Royal Society chaps whom
you yourself handpicked to be chaps of Royal Society. In the United
States this is considered a conflict of interest and no court will grant
your wish to be tried by your Royal Society cronies, Sir!
N: What is a conflict of interest?
Judge: Sir Isaac, I advise you to get a lawyer, and a good one.
Otherwise your entire scientific reputation will be put to shreds by the
plaintiffs. They are very well prepared for this case. The court is
adjourned until Sir Isaac hires a heavyweight New York trial attorney to
make this case a bit more interesting and draw better media attention.